Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.

Standing in a dark shower this morning, I had a stupid idea flourish from an intense lack of sleep. Not being able to calculate how many minutes I had actually slept, and how many were spent tossing and turning, the only thing I wanted (apart from a working light in the bathroom), was coffee. Lots, oodles, and tons of coffee. Partly inspired by Fry's decision to drink 100 cups in 48hrs, and partly inspired by two parties who are temporarily or permanently unable to drink coffee, I decided to see how many cups I could drink in one day.


A small black greeted me at Tim Horton's this morning, and then I ordered coffee. Large black.


By 10:30a I was reaching for my second Large black. Since I couldn't leave the office, I caved for the good-til-the-last-drop instant coffee. Anything that calls itself instant coffee, but smells or tastes nothing like coffee, can't be called coffee!! No wonder nobody drinks this crap. The rancid smell and putrid taste made me want to barf-every-last-drop, but alas, it all stayed in.


At lunch time, Timothy's handed me a monster's Large.


Disappointedly not receiving the jitters after all that, I switched to black tea at 2:30p. You MUST let it steep long enough in order for all the sweet caffeine fairies to come out and play..


The cup magically replenished it's supply around 4ish. The stars I was seeing at the time made it impossible to see exactly where the clock hands were pointing, but a missed 4pm hotel cancellation policy made it pretty clear it was almost quittin' time.


I picked up another large on my way home, which almost instantly froze to my hand. Who knew -10 could feel like "B.S.it's only -10, it feels like -55 to me!" with the wind..


Anyway, now it's 7:14p, and I officially give up. As I realize I "don't like my coffee shaking", I put down my empty Second (more like 9th) Cup, and throw in the towel.


"Put the pot down! Get Away!"... I just remembered I brewed another 5 cups. What the hell was I thinking? Now I have the shakes, and when I envision sleep, I don't see it happening for another day and a half or so. Oh. I have a packed day of activities tomorrow?? Oh wow.


My bladder and my stomach are in trouble.. not to mention my mind. I don't think it can handle a processing speed faster than 300k/h, and we're already racing past viper speed.


Yes, thanks wiki for upping my paranoia level to new highs , and confirming the coffee demons are EVERYwhere. Viper is also the name of a heavily caffeinated drink.. help!